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November 4, 2025 edition
This week, Ben Appel joins me to talk about his new book, Cis White Gay: The Making of a Gender Heretic, a memoir about leaving one kind of cult only to stumble into another. Raised in a rigid Christian community, Ben found refuge in the gay rights movement and, later, the Ivy League—until “allyship” started to look less like solidarity and more like a loyalty oath.
Guest Bio:
Ben Appel is a writer and commentator whose memoir, Cis White Gay, traces his path from a strict Christian sect to progressive activism—and his break with movement orthodoxy; he’s written for outlets like Newsweek, UnHerd, and more, and publishes on Substack.
Note: In the introduction to this episode, I mentioned our 2026 Unspeakeasy retreat season. Currently, only the April women’s weekend retreat is open for application and registration. I said that other retreats, all in the fall, will be open for registration by the end of this year. In fact, they will not be open until early spring. For now, please save the dates and I’ll keep you updated.
Housekeeping
🤝 The Founding Member hangouts are coming back! We’ll do one Sunday, Nov 9 at 8 pm ET. Starting next year, we’ll do them monthly. To join in, upgrade your subscription to Founding Member.
👩🏫 I’m teaching a Zoom writing workshop in Memoir and Personal Essay, Jan 6 through Feb 24, 2026. Apply by Dec 6. Info here.
📖 Order my book, The Catastrophe Hour: Selected Essays, on Amazon or directly from the publisher here.
📺 Visit The Unspeakeasy on YouTube.
