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Tyler's avatar

Dearest Meghan,

This was very poignant and thoughtful essay.

Anecdata alert: As a black American whose very large and tight-knit family is rooted in the Deep South, what you described about disconnection from extended family is completely alien to me.

I imagine readers who are Irish, Italian, Polish, Greek would have a similar reaction; as would readers who are Latino, Indian and Chinese. Indeed, I'd be very curious to hear Sarah Haider's perspective.

I can't help but wonder if your disconnection from extended family has an ethno-cultural component. (If I recall correctly, you described your family as vaguely Germanic, with almost no connection to an old country and it's folkways.)

Sorry to ramble, but I think what I'm positing is this:.

there's a subset of the American population disconnected from extended family

Of that subset, are they more likely to have a Northern European background (UK, Netherlands, Germany, Scandinavia)? Do those cultures place less value on the importance of family ties?

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❤️ Jenny Blake's avatar

I am so thankful that you write essays like these, showing the true joy of solitude and simpler family (and friend) structures. That “must need to justify” gremlin can take a hike ;) I find it so reassuring to know I’m not the only one who craves deep solitude like oxygen.

My favorite line, just exquisite! “maybe there’s a mystical element, somewhere in the mix, too. Not infrequently, while sitting alone with my thoughts, a feeling of peace will descend upon me that I can only describe as an almost divine awareness of the great luck of my own solitude. That is not to say the solitude itself is lucky (though maybe it is) but that having the ability to experience it as such is a stupendous stroke of fortune.”

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