February 9, 2026 edition
Is it really true that no one—or at least no one under 30—is having sex anymore? In this episode, I talk with neuroscientist, author, and former sex researcher Dr. Debra Soh about her new book Sextinction: The Decline of Sex and the Future of Intimacy, a data-packed look at why millennials and Gen Z are having less sex than any cohort on record despite living in the most sexually permissive culture in history. From declining testosterone and endocrine disruptors to porn, dating apps, kink culture, sex dolls, and the rise of AI boyfriends and girlfriends (she tried a few), Debra argues that technology has become the new contraception—reshaping not just sexual behavior but intimacy itself. We also discuss hypergamy, hookup culture backlash, “sex positivity” overreach, and whether the future holds a rebellion back toward real-life connection and analog pastimes.
Sextinction will be published next Tuesday, February 10.
Guest Bio
Dr. Debra Soh is a neuroscientist who specializes in human sexuality and biological explanations for behavior. Her previous book, The End of Gender, was published in 2020.
Housekeeping
✈️ As you’ve heard me mention, The Unspeakeasy is now officially coed and will focus on in-person events going forward. But don’t worry, we’re offering three women’s retreats this year. The first is in L.A. in April and is open for registration now. The others are on the East Coast in the fall, plus our big coed overnight retreat-a-polooza in October. Visit our retreat page for dates and more info.
🏍️ I am hosting Zoom hangouts for Founding Members on the last Sunday of every month at 8pm ET. The next meeting is Sunday, Feb 22. If you’re a Founding Member, you will get an email with the link. If you’re not yet a Founding Member, you can upgrade your subscription here.
🎁 Make a one-time donation to the podcast. Everything helps and is deeply appreciated. 🙏
📺 Visit The Unspeakeasy on YouTube.
