For those who like to drink, I suggest making a game of taking a drink every time these two say "reductive." hee hee... really enjoying this interview!
I enjoyed this conversation, especially the thoughtful rumination on the ethics of writing about other people. I think writing about friends/parents/family members as adults is fair game, even if it can be tricky. However, I respectfully disagree with the take on writing about one's children. It might be true that some children are unbothered by their parent writing about their lives, though I suspect if you scratch the surface of those children's experiences, you may uncover a more complex range of feelings. I think the larger issue is that there is an inherent power asymmetry between parent and child while that child is still a minor. Miguel Macias could have fictionalised his piece about regret or used pseudonyms, but instead he published it with his name attached, knowing his daughter will likely read it one day, or at least learn about it. Maybe she won't really care, or maybe she'll be devastated. None of us can know how she will feel. Regardless, in my view, that hypothetical is secondary to the fact that a little kid who has only been on the planet for a couple of years deserves privacy and should be protected by her parent, not used as clickbait for an NYT opinion piece.
I can only speak for my own work, don't want to generalize and I am not familiar with the example you cited (though I did look it up). I couldn't agree more about protecting a kid and certainly the line about clickbait. I would hope Degas at the Gas Station would not be confused with such a thing. It is indeed tricky to write about one's own children.
Now I want to quote that line about how when a writer is born into a family... but the disaster in that line is not usually understood as referencing that writer's kids. Anyway thank you for the comment.
One of the things I got out of being at an actual Meghan Daum event was that while I was sleeping in my hotel, I had a dream of playing with a small child, and trying to be ultra-supportive and encourage him, and then I woke up thinking "that was my son". Of course, I have no son in real life, but I also had my 40th birthday on that trip and one of the things this interview reminds us of is that at least men have the privilege of lifelong options in this regard.
But I think the point is that our culture, and particularly the part of it that I inhabit, is so antinatalist, so anti-male, so anti-sex (a comparison illuminated by my subsequent Israel trip), that these conversations aren't even on the table. I hardly ever even think about any of these subjects, and in some sense the podcast world represents the finite block of time I have devoted to pondering them.
It is great to be exposed via this podcast to yet another extraordinary author (thanks, Meghan!). I found Beller's collection of essays to be very worthwhile - they are beautifully written, relatable, thought provoking. The essays will invite you to ruminate upon them, and you might even come away with a refined take on your own early-in-life experiences, as was the case for me. I especially loved The Rights for how it begins to bring the book to closure by tying together some loose ends and then delivering a blunt truth (trying to not be a spoiler here). This is one of those few books I will keep within arm's reach.
For those who like to drink, I suggest making a game of taking a drink every time these two say "reductive." hee hee... really enjoying this interview!
Yes! A step up from "hi, Bob!"
oh dear, I don't know that reference... lol
I enjoyed this conversation, especially the thoughtful rumination on the ethics of writing about other people. I think writing about friends/parents/family members as adults is fair game, even if it can be tricky. However, I respectfully disagree with the take on writing about one's children. It might be true that some children are unbothered by their parent writing about their lives, though I suspect if you scratch the surface of those children's experiences, you may uncover a more complex range of feelings. I think the larger issue is that there is an inherent power asymmetry between parent and child while that child is still a minor. Miguel Macias could have fictionalised his piece about regret or used pseudonyms, but instead he published it with his name attached, knowing his daughter will likely read it one day, or at least learn about it. Maybe she won't really care, or maybe she'll be devastated. None of us can know how she will feel. Regardless, in my view, that hypothetical is secondary to the fact that a little kid who has only been on the planet for a couple of years deserves privacy and should be protected by her parent, not used as clickbait for an NYT opinion piece.
I can only speak for my own work, don't want to generalize and I am not familiar with the example you cited (though I did look it up). I couldn't agree more about protecting a kid and certainly the line about clickbait. I would hope Degas at the Gas Station would not be confused with such a thing. It is indeed tricky to write about one's own children.
Now I want to quote that line about how when a writer is born into a family... but the disaster in that line is not usually understood as referencing that writer's kids. Anyway thank you for the comment.
One of the things I got out of being at an actual Meghan Daum event was that while I was sleeping in my hotel, I had a dream of playing with a small child, and trying to be ultra-supportive and encourage him, and then I woke up thinking "that was my son". Of course, I have no son in real life, but I also had my 40th birthday on that trip and one of the things this interview reminds us of is that at least men have the privilege of lifelong options in this regard.
But I think the point is that our culture, and particularly the part of it that I inhabit, is so antinatalist, so anti-male, so anti-sex (a comparison illuminated by my subsequent Israel trip), that these conversations aren't even on the table. I hardly ever even think about any of these subjects, and in some sense the podcast world represents the finite block of time I have devoted to pondering them.
It is great to be exposed via this podcast to yet another extraordinary author (thanks, Meghan!). I found Beller's collection of essays to be very worthwhile - they are beautifully written, relatable, thought provoking. The essays will invite you to ruminate upon them, and you might even come away with a refined take on your own early-in-life experiences, as was the case for me. I especially loved The Rights for how it begins to bring the book to closure by tying together some loose ends and then delivering a blunt truth (trying to not be a spoiler here). This is one of those few books I will keep within arm's reach.
Always interesting.